Argh, how can I actually read this? It looks super interesting, especially in terms of my own illness, in regards to specific beliefs I have about certain foods ‘contaminating’ me, ‘poisoning’ me, or making me ‘dirty’ if I eat them, and also classifying foods into two categories of ‘clean’ and ‘dirty’, rather than good/bad or whatever.
Okay so, I read the article, and I’d definitely recommend a read. It talks about fears of calories being carried by the air - such as the smell of foods causing you to breathe in calories - and the fear of fat being able to get into your body by soaking through your skin, including the fear of using moisturisers and lipbalms etc, for that very reason. It also talks about anorexics feeling that food contaminates or pollute their body, and that being empty makes them feel clean.
"Food refusal and fear of fat amongst those who are considered anorexic has another level of meaning beyond the desire to lose weight. Rather than simply being fattening, the fear associated with saturating fats and miasmatic calories was also related to the dangerous proximity of contamination."
I don’t know how many of you experienced these kinds of fears as part of your illness, but from my own experiences, these fears were generally brushed aside or overlooked by my treatment team: “Food can’t be ‘dirty’, unless you found it on the floor” in order to discuss the most common fears of food being bad/good based on their caloric level, that I didn’t even realise that so many other people shared my contamination-type fears, so it was kind of amazing to read this article and go through each separate issue like ‘yep, I relate to that’ and ‘oh, I do that too!’, especially classifying foods in terms of ‘clean’ and ‘dirty’, because when I was first diagnosed and mentioned to that to my awful, ex-therapist, she just looked at me and said: “that’s not normal!”, and it made me feel so freakish that I didn’t mention it again to anyone for literally years.